If I had a good quote, I'd be wearing it.Various words to remember, in no particular order...
Nun, natürlich, das Volk will keinen Krieg. Warum sollte auch irgendein armer Landarbeiter im Krieg sein Leben aufs Spiel setzen wollen, wenn das Beste ist, was er dabei herausholen kann, daß er mit heilen Knochen zurückkommt? Natürlich, das einfache Volk will keinen Krieg; weder in Rußland, noch in England, noch in Amerika, und ebenso wenig in Deutschland. Das ist klar.
Aber... es ist immer leicht, das Volk zum Mitmachen zu bringen, ob es sich nun um eine Demokratie, eine faschistische Diktatur, um ein Parlament oder eine kommunistische Diktatur handelt...
Das Volk kann mit oder ohne Stimmrecht immer dazu gebracht werden, den Befehlen der Führer zu folgen. Das ist ganz einfach. Man braucht nichts zu tun, als dem Volk zu sagen, es würde angegriffen, und den Pazifisten ihren Mangel an Patriotismus vorzuwerfen und zu behaupten, sie brächten das Land in Gefahr. Diese Methode funktioniert in jedem Land.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
When facism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.
Sinclair Lewis
Tuer un homme dans le paroxysme d'une passion, cela se comprend. Le faire tuer par un autre dans le calme d'une méditation sérieuse, et sous le prétexte d'un ministère honorable, cela ne se comprend pas.
Le Marquis de Sade
This is likely to be administered for a course of years and then end in despotism ... when the people shall become so corrupted as to need despotic government, being incapable of any other.
Benjamin Franklin, 1787
on the proposed Constitution of the United States of America.
The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal is the ultimate indignity to the democratic process.
Adlai Stevenson, 1956
To foment grievance and to set men at variance is the trade by which agitators thrive and journalists make money.
Dorothy L. Sayers
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.
Bertrand Russell
A process which led from the amoeba to man appeared to the philosophers to be obviously a progress; though whether the amoeba would agree with this opinion is not known.
Bertrand Russell
It is not so much that the Bible neatly answers all our questions, as that it questions all our answers.
The Ven. Mark Oakley
Truth is one, the sages speak of it by many names.
Vedas
Advocates of capitalism are very apt to appeal to the sacred principles of liberty, which are embodied in one maxim: The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate.
Bertrand Russell
I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
Adlai E. Stevenson offering his political opponents a very fair deal
Jedenfalls bin ich überzeugt, dass der Alte nicht würfelt.
Es scheint hart, dem Herrgott in die Karten zu gucken. Aber dass er würfelt und sich telepatischer Mittel bedient (wie es ihm von der gegenwärtigen Quantentheorie zugemutet wird), kann ich keinen Augenblick glauben.
Albert Einstein, in correspondence to Max Born and Cornelius Lanczos, respectively.
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
Dwight D. Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
Und nicht die Flüchtlinge die zu uns drängen sind unsere Feinde, sondern die, die sie in die Flucht treiben.
Stefan Heym, November 10, 1994
Against my will, in the course of my travels, the belief that everything worth knowing was known at Cambridge gradually wore off. In this respect my travels were very useful to me.
Bertrand Russell
When we talked about Socrates, we saw how dangerous it could be to appeal to people's reason. With Jesus we see how dangerous it can be to demand unconditional forgiveness. Even in the world of today, we can see how mighty powers can come apart at the seams when confronted with simple demands for peace, love, food for the poor, and amnesty for the enemies of the state.
Jostein Gaarder, Sophie's World
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Being attacked by Rush Limbaugh is like being gummed by a newt. It doesn't hurt but you get slime on your ankle.
We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice.
Woody Allen
If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution inevitiable.
John F. Kennedy
Große Potentaten und Regenten haben die Pflicht, sich um die freien Künste zu kümmern. Zwar haben Privatleute Lust an der Musik und lieben sie, aber können sie nicht finanzieren.
Almost everything that distinguishes the modern world from earlier centuries is attributable to science, which achieved its most spectacular triumphs in the seventeenth century.
Bertrand Russell
Cela ne commence pas, cela ne finit pas, cela dure seulement.
Saint-Saëns on Reger
Wer etwa an zu feinen Ohren leidet, dem sei geraten, daß er Thüringen vermeidet.
Walther von der Vogelweide
Oh, wenn jene alten, musikkundigen Gelehrten die Modernen hörten, was würden sie tun, was würden sie sagen!
Jacobus von Luettich (ca. 1330)
For the man of talent affects to call his transgressions of the laws of sense trivial and to count them nothing considerd with his devotion to his art.
Charles Ives
I believe that the use of noise to make music will continue and increase until we reach a music produced through the aid of electrical instuments.
John Cage, 1937
That's why I love philosophy: no one wins.
Leading tones? You surely aren't talking about ascending half-steps in diatonic music. Is it not true that anything leads to whatever follows?
Quand j'étais jeune, on me disait : "Vous verrez quand vous aurez cinquante ans".
J'ai cinquante ans, et je n'ai rien vu.
If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, try it for 8, 16, 32, and so on. Eventually one discovers that it's not boring at all but very interesting.
Last year ... I made a short talk. That was beause I was talking about something; but this year I am talking about nothing and of course will go on talking for a long time.
Mother said "I've listened to your record several times. After hearing all those stories about your childhood, I keep asking myself, 'Where was it that I failed?'"
I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's ass.
Po swej posludze milosnej spal jak zwykle dobrze, ale rano ku swemu wielkiemu zaskoczeniu aresztowano go pod zarzutem zabojstwa Gason Brisseau.
Pushing forty? She's clinging on to it for dear life.
Looks and sounds not unlike Hitler -- but without the charm.
Gore Vidal on William F. Buckley Jr.
All power tends to be an aphrodisiac and absolute power leaves you felling rotten by Wednesday.
In Italy under the Borgias they had warfare and terror but they produced da Vinci, Michelangelo, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had 500 years of peace and produced the cuckoo-clock.
"Just the place for a Snark!" the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.
"'Just the place for a Snark!' I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
'Just the place for a Snark!' I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true."
Lewis Carroll, The Hunting of the Snark
Wagner is the Puccini of music.
J.B. Morton
I liked your opera. I think I'll set it to music.
Beethoven to a fellow composer
If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
H.L. Mencken, on his deathbed
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
W.C. Fields' last words
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
Buddha
Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
Buddha
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
Mahatma Gandhi
The whole purpose of religion is to facilitate love and compassion, patience, tolerance, humility, forgiveness.
His Holiness, the Dalai Lama
If you wish others to know about your good deeds, they are not truly good deeds.
If you fear others will find out about your bad deeds, those are truly bad deeds.
Master Hsuan Hua
Kommt jemand nach gewissenhafter Pruefung zu dem Ergebnis, daß er einen Menschen vor Gefahr schützen muß, hat er das Recht, sich ausnahmsweise gegen staatliche Anordnungen zu stellen.
Wenn dieses Universum in all seiner millionenfachen Ordnung und Präzision das Ergebnis eines blinden Zufalls sein sollte, so ist das so glaubwürdig wie wenn eine Druckerei in die Luft geht, worauf alle Druckbuchstaben wieder herunterfallen in der fertigen fehlerlosen Form des Duden-Lexikons.
Albert Einstein
In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect I beg to submit that it is the first.
A long memory is the most subversive idea in America.
A tautology is a thing which is tautological.
A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention.
If your kids look like you, it's hereditory.
If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
| Bullwinkle: | You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. | |
| General: | What does that make you ? | |
| Bullwinkle: | What else? An executive... |
Jay Ward, The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe
"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
Double-Blind Experiment, n.: An experiment in which the chief researcher believes he is fooling both subject and lab assistant. Often accompanied by a belief in the tooth fairy.
Going to church does not make a person religious, nor does going to school make a person educated, any more than going to a garage makes a person a car.
Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities decline sharply the minute they start waving guns around?
I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling.
Non mi sento obbligato a credere che lo stesso Dio che ci ha dotato di sensi, ragione e intelletto, pretenda che non li utilizziamo.
I generally avoid temptation...
...unless I can't resist it.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Zwei Dinge sind unendlich: Das Universum und die menschliche Dummheit. Aber beim Universum bin ich mir nicht ganz sicher.
both attributed to Albert Einstein
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
Bertrand Russell
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes.
It's about Russia.
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
When God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!
If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.
War does not determine who is right--only who is left.
Bertrand Russell
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
| Mandrell: | You know what I think? | |
| Dr. Who: | Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you don't think, right ? |
...the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!"
Harlan Ellison, after arrantly excoriating Star Wars, Close Encounters, and Star Trek.
One of the oldest problems puzzled over in the Talmud is: "Why did God create goyim ?"
The generally accepted answer is "somebody has to buy retail."
Anyone who attempts to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, in a state of sin.
John von Neumann
Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba"
| She: | I know you... you cannot sing. | |
| He: | That's nothing, you should hear me play piano. |
Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland; but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
Anonymous?
The C Programming Language--A language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language.
Anonymous?
The lion and the calf shall lie down together... but the calf won't get much sleep.
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
The United States also has its native Fascists who say that they are "100 percent American."
U. S. Army (1945)
The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune.
Anonymous
There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Will Rodgers
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
What George Washington did for us was to throw out the British, so that we wouldn't have a fat, insensitive government running our country.
Nice try anyway, George.
Anonymous
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built Titanic.
Dave Barry
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen, Without Feathers
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
Woody Allen, Without Feathers
When Marriage is Outlawed,
Only Outlaws will have Inlaws.
Anonymous
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong - but that's the way to bet.
Damon Runyon
All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner
Information is not knowledge; Knowledge is not Wisdom; Wisdom is not truth; Truth is not beauty; Beauty is not love; Love is not music; Music is the best.
Sen. Danforth: "There is nothing on the face of the album which would notify you if the record has pornographics material or material glorifying violence?" Tipper Gore: "No, there is nothing that would suggest that to me." Frank Zappa: "I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's legs on the album cover is good indication that it's not for little Johnny."
The Senate Commerce Committee hearing on rock lyrics
Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee." Winston Churchill: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
It's like deja vu all over again.
"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" she asked.
"Begin at the beginning," the King said, gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
You can observe a lot just by watching.
Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint.
Being schizophrenic is better than living alone.
Anonymous
Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
Whenever people agree with me, I always think I must be wrong.
C (n.): A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything else.
Ray Simard
Coffee...
...the 100% natural substitute for sleep.
Anonymous
They got some coffee,
Eat right thru de cup;
And when you go ah-ah,
They make you stand up.
Frank Zappa, "In France"
The Congress shall have the power to ... promote the progress of science and useful arts, by securing for limited times to authors and inventors the exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries...
U.S. Constitution, Art. 1 Sec. 8
Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.
HTML makes Finale look like a user-friendly means to graphic communication.
Bret Battey
Sooner or later, people are going to figure out if all you run is negative attack ads you don't have much of a vision for the future or you're not ready to articulate it.
John McCain, 2000
I think they put some lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig.
John McCain, 11 Oct 2007. Of course, if anyone else said it, it was sexist.
HTML is the MS-DOS of the '90s.
Oh, I had a problem with Windows 95 but I typed
FORMAT C:
and it works a
lot
better now.
Anonymous
However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in 'A,' 'B,' 'C,' and 'D.' Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of 'conservatism.'
Sen. Barry Goldwater
Great minds discuss ideas; lesser minds discuss things; fools get personal.
After Eleanor Roosevelt
Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
Eric Hoffer
If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
Elbert Hubbard
A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought.
Lord Peter Wimsey (in Dorothy L. Sayers' Gaudy Night)